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Issue #11

They’re Not Idiots for Not Agreeing With You

TLDR -
​Just because someone sounds irrational to you doesn’t mean they’re stupid or evil.

It just means their mental model of the world is different from yours.

We all build simplified versions of reality based on what we’ve seen, heard, and lived—and then we act rationally inside those models.

So persuasion isn’t about hitting people with better logic—it’s about entering their logic.

You can’t win someone over by proving them wrong. You win them over by proving you understand where they’re coming from.

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Dear Reader,

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Us humans are thought to be rational beings. In fact, rationality is considered the defining trait of humans among other animals.

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And yet we often find people around us behaving in highly irrational, sometimes downright stupid manner… like gambling away life savings on a betting app. I’m reticent to give more examples… I don't want to alienate people just yet.
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Why do we rational beings act in such irrational ways?
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The reason is simple - Limited Rationality.

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The term was first coined by Herbert Simon. The idea is that we behave rationally within the context of the mental model of the world we hold in our mind, which is influenced by our personal experiences.

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“Because of limits in human mental capacity, he argued, the mind cannot cope directly with the complexity of the world. Rather, we construct a simplified mental model of reality and then work with this model. We behave rationally within the confines of our mental model, but this model is not always well adapted to the requirements of the real world. The concept of bounded rationality has come to be recognized widely, though not universally, both as an accurate portrayal of human judgment and choice and as a sensible adjustment to the limitations inherent in how the human mind functions.” - Psychology of Intelligence Analysis, Richards J. Heuer, Jr.

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TLDR - We hold a simplified model of the world in our minds, and behave rationally within that context.​
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Simplification by definition means omitting nuance, and the nuance that one person omits may be completely different from the one another omits.
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In essence, yours, mine, and everyone else’s simplified world models may be drastically different, though they are modelled after the same objective world.

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And just because something seems irrational to you, it may seem completely rational to someone else depending on where they’re coming from. So yes, just because someone disagrees with you, doesn’t mean they’re foolish, or illogical (or evil… as some people believe).

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Logic, thus, is relative.
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Anyway, enough with lectures. Why do we care about this?
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We care, because logic is central to persuasion.

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And since we’ve established that logic is relative, you can’t just impose your logic on someone else, and expect them to be persuaded.

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No… when you’re faced with someone whose logic might be different from yours (hint: they seem very irrational/evil to you)... you have three options -

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1. Enter their model

Speak their language, share their fears, and guide them from inside their logic.

When to use: When the other person’s worldview contains some truth, and empathy can build a bridge.
​What to do: Accept their values, fears, or assumptions—and build your argument from within.​
Example: Your uncle refuses to invest in stocks because he “doesn’t trust the markets.” Rather than lecture him about returns, you say:

“Totally fair. A lot of people lost money in shady schemes. That’s why I only pick index funds—low risk, long-term, and no funny business.”

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Now he’s listening, because you’ve started from his fear, not your facts.

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2. Extend their model

Add just enough truth to evolve their logic without breaking it.
​When to use: When they already believe something useful, and you can stretch that belief to reach your goal.
​What to do: Introduce new data, stories, or analogies that evolve their logic instead of opposing it.
​Example: Your CEO wants to double Slack messages to boost team communication. You don’t say “That’s dumb.” You say:

“Absolutely—visibility is key. That’s what helped Airbnb early on. But did you know Intercom actually reduced comms to increase engagement? They found that silence created anticipation. Could we test a rhythm-based cadence instead of a flood?”

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You’re not tearing down the idea—you’re adding nuance and steering the direction.

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3. Crush their model

Break the frame so hard, they can’t unsee what you just showed them.
​When to use: When the person’s worldview is actively harmful or self-defeating, and gentle persuasion fails.
​What to do: Use vivid, disruptive analogies or emotional inversion to break their frame.
​Example: Your friend thinks his gambling habit is “just for fun.” You ask:

“Would you call it fun if someone stole ₹10,000 from you every weekend? Because that’s what this app is doing—with your permission.”

That’s not an argument—it’s a mental jolt. You’ve stepped outside his model and forced him to see it from another angle.

And with that, we’ll call it a day.

Let me know how you liked this issue. And if you did like it, let one other person know as well. As you know, I’m just starting out, and every share means a lot.
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Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Ayush

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